Portland USGP

Well, after a few days doing the things that paid my way out to Portland and then a bit, I finally got the bike in from Fedex and tossed it together Friday evening. I road it around a bit to make sure everything was ok and then got some good sleep for the Saturday race. Because this was a late idea, I wound up in the back of the starting grid. I wasn't expecting to do well at all. I'd not had the best tires on the bike yet as I had to use a backup set since the zipps needed serious maintenance. Once started, I'd also found the brakes could've used a bit more attention. I wish there would be a standard width on these things sometimes. Anyhoo, I tried to make the best of it, but just didn't feel confident on the course nor did I really have the energy. In short, I rode like crap. After hanging out and watching the elite races, I got the bike cleaned up and zipped back to the house where I was staying. My friends went out to a Yakima company party with their little girl so I spent Saturday just laying on the couch and watching bad TV. 200+ channels and not a freakin decent thing on. My mind was pudding anyway. I got the tires flip flopped and had the Hutchinson bulldogs ready. Now these tires are seriously good tires. I'm told you shouldn't run clinchers too low but I had these puppies at a hair over 30lbs pressure (I didn't want to say 31lbs and really sound anal about it). Later I watched an Austin Powers movie and some mind numbing thing that I still can't remember. Onward to Sunday.

After finally being able to say I did a cyclocross race on the west coast when it wasn't raining(it was still muddy though), Sunday's race returned me to a more comfortable situation. It was pouring down rain, somehow for my race only though. I guess I'm one of those black cloud people. After not being able to hold anything the previous day, the bulldogs hooked up to the course as if there wasn't any mud at all. I again started at the back, but after the first section of the motocross section of the course, I was almost halfway thru the field. I was on a good one. On the second lap, I was still holding my ground, but got wrecked into on the loop de loops at the start of the lap. That set me back a few places, but I managed to get myself going. I even had a bit of a cheering section as I am finding quite a few people who've moved out there from Western PA. Others that I've met remember the ponytail and know it's me so that helps out more. I let myself get egged on and road the tough little off camber zigzag which then did a 180 at the bottom of the hill and went right back up. I was moving past others who were having alot of trouble with the course and I was starting to feel pretty cool. The third lap, I'd made the hill again but had to do a one step scoot as the mud was really getting wet with the rain. By the 4th lap, I was still in the mid upper 30s place, when coming over the top of the loop de loops, I pedaled to build up a big head of steam to go blowing through the mud and the rider who'd dropped over a few seconds before, suddenly panicked, hit his brakes, got sideways and then road straight into my path. It was at this moment, that I remembered Bill Cosby's line from one of his early stand-up acts. First you say it, then you do it. I broadsided him about 5 yards into the mud. If it had happened closer to the bottom of the hill, both of us probably would've been headed to the hospital. Luckily, the mud took some of the speed from me and it wasn't as bad as it could've been. We both still went ass over tin cups and both of us got a bit banged up and lost 30 seconds or more getting up. I'd also screwed up a wheel so I had to pit and get a spare. It was really nice to have the SRAM guys there with the spare Zipps but the tires they use suck in the mud. When I got to the off-camber section again, I figured my race was done, so let's entertain people. Well, entertain I did. I road strongly through the first section looking like I was Superman and then I hit the corner at the bottom with a bit too much speed. Well, from this part of the race, you'll see why the blog is named what it's named. I laid it down and really coated myself well with mud. It was fun though, but this lap had now cost me almost 3 minutes and it was still only half over and now I was feeling the day. I took it easy for the next half lap and then came through for the 5th lap. The following couple laps I road the first section but due to my lack of confidence in the front wheel,I opted to dismount and just run the last section of the zigzag. I was chasing a few of the other riders but just couldn't keep going like I was earlier. In the end, I road it in and called it a day well spent with the knowledge that I could go well and actually be competitive in the Master's elite field, but I just needed a bit more luck on my side and not the bad kind. I currently have a 3rd row start spot in the Natz 40-44 field. Barring a miracle, I'm not going to win the race but maybe I can pull off the hole shot. I've done that before at a MAC race in the Master's elite against some pretty fast guys. Maybe I can pull it off again.

In the end, I'd had a pretty good week. I got to finally meet my good friends Chuck's and Dawn's little baby girl, ridden a couple fun races, met some great people, had a good couple days of work, got a free round trip ticket to anywhere in the continental United States(I took the bump on the way out), got a couple test model Scott running shoes and will have a pair of Spira hiking boots sent to me, and came back to a work situation that was pretty stable and didn't resemble the aftermath of the London blitz. The guys at I-Generator are also looking to have me come out there 2 times next year so I'm feeling pretty stoked about everything.